written with Mark Hudson

Lyrics

Two little monkeys, wild and free
One fell down from a big tall tree
The other one's yellin "mama look at me!"
The history of man

Eve was tweaked, Adam couldn't speak
Flashed on the apple and his knees got weak
Took a big bite and started to write
The history of man

Trees shakin, hearts breakin
Time takin everything down
Tears drying, fig leaves flyin
Babies cryin all night long

Paradise lost, and on the next page
Cain slew Abel in a jealous rage
Next thing ya know, it's the holy crusades
The history of man

This is absurd, came the word from Jehovah
You can't get to heaven in a Chevy Nova
Noah build a yacht, we gotta start over
The history of man

Winds wailin, buckets bailin
Feets failin on trails untrod
Waves crashin, lightnin flashin
Good ol' fashioned wrath o' God

This fire has been here from the start
And no rain's gonna drown it out
This fire still burns here in my heart
And no amount of pain's gonna stomp it out

Cicero couldn't keep his big mouth shut
So Antony wreaked some havoc on his butt
Then lost his to Cleopatra, that slut
The history of man

Primordial ooze to the primate boogie
Blue swede shoes and tryin to get lucky
Born to lose and lookin for nookie
The History of man

Love makin, hearts breakin
Time takin everything down
Tears drying, lovers tryin
one more trip on the merry-go-round

This fire has been here from the start
And no rain's gonna drown it out
This fire still burns here in my heart
And no amount of pain's gonna stomp it out

Ivan the terrible, Attila the Hun
Hannibal the cannibal to Mao Tse Tung
Charlemagne to Sadam Hussein
The history of man

There's always some sucker, hungry and sick
Always some fucker with another dirty trick
Plantin some flag and wavin his dick

Shit keeps flyin, heroes dyin
They're back in next week's episode
Walls keep shakin, hearts keep breakin
And we keep takin it on the road
Years keep flyin, lovers keep tryin
One more trip on the merry-go-round
Winners reap on, losers weep on
Carnivals keep on comin to town

So hush little baby, don't you cry
Everybody's gonna get a little piece of pie
Just cross your heart and hope to die
It's the history of man